2 Engineers, 1 website.

 

Financial Jiu Jitsu will teach you how to gain leverage in the real world, step by step, until you are confident you no longer need more.

To get away with it, keep it under control

To get away with it, keep it under control

Ever get mad? Ever get excited? Ever get sad? Anxious? Yeah, me neither. Well almost. Lets assume that emotions are a universal trait and there is no escaping them. Is there a problem with this? Yes indeed, because if you let your emotions get the better of you then you are portraying yourself as weak and sometimes incompetent. And of course I am also talking about being angry and wanting to fight because lets face it, once you are at that point you have lost a battle with yourself and a smart adversary will know he can lead you around by your nose. It is better to be righteous than righteously angry, so shoot for that if you must. 

On a smaller scale, even the best of us will let out a curse word in company or even at our place of employment. We will pretend like this happened on accident. How does one "get away" with such an incursion into the realm of un-decency? The best way is to pretend like you didn't notice that the slip up ever occurred. This is a fine line to walk because on the one hand, like we discussed earlier, we don't want to lose control of our emotions or attribute our momentary lapse to anger or another negative emotion driven trait. On the other hand, backing away from something you have said is probably the fastest way ever for someone think you are a sissy. Most people will take advantage of any show of weakness, even sometimes if you are being sarcastic they will latch on, thinking they are being smart whereas in reality, you are just too damn sarcastic! I think I need to put some examples here so you know what I am talking about because this is getting too deep to be discussed in a theoretical manner. 

Example #1: The wrong way to buckle

You (manager level): "These reports are driving me up the wall I literally do not have time for this shit."

Co-workers: (look at you weird) "Hey you really need to watch the language here this is a professional environment" (they are not joking)

You (looking like you messed up): Ok yeah you're right. (then you stop talking which calls even more attention to your failure)

Example #2: The right way to buckle

You (manager level): "These reports are driving me up the wall I literally do not have time for this shit."

Co-workers: (look at you weird) "Hey you really need to watch the language here this is a professional environment" (they are not joking)

You (looking like your coworker just said something dumb and off topic to you): Yeah you're right. But these reports are tits on a bull useless and only a complete brainless troglodyte will ever pretend like they were needed in any case. (You continue to up the ante but without swearing, also note that you didn't let the subject change. The longer you talk after the apparent infraction, the better)

Example #3: dodge the bullet completely

You (manager level): "These reports are driving me up the wall I literally do not have time for this shit."

Co-workers: (look at you weird) "Hey you really need to watch the language here this is a professional environment" (they are not joking)

You (not even noticing what they said except for a passing glance): These reports are tits on a bull useless and only a complete brainless troglodyte will ever pretend like they were needed in any case. (You continue to up the ante but without swearing, also note that you didn't let the subject change. The longer you talk after the apparent infraction, the better because they will feel worse for bringing it up again after a minute than after 15 seconds)

Note how in example #1 you caved. Technically you did in example #2 as well. But do you think you would want person #1 or person #2 in charge of your private business affairs? You could pretend to want #1 but we all know #2 is going to earn that money for you. Person #1 will either be working for the government or a very large company where they are not in charge of getting anything done of importance.

I personally like the result #3 supplies because you are actually ignoring a valid concern by a colleague, and you are doing it on purpose, but nobody will ever know that if you don't let your facade slip. You pull this off by acting like you are so enveloped in what you were originally talking about (the reports remember) that it would take 2 or 3 solid comments about your swearing for you to back up and acknowledge that the word ever passed your lips, and at that point the accuser will look like a total nagging whiny sissy, so you have really won the battle at that point by baiting them out and having them reveal themselves. 

A couple caveats of these approaches are as follows: consider your audience, consider your position, consider that you shouldn't be swearing by accident anyways! What are you, an idiot? But you can do it on purpose and pretend like it was an accident and look like a baller. Just like any tool in the box, use as necessary. 

The Sarcasm-too-far example:

You (totally straight faced baiting sarcasm with new company): Man I really love the NFL their players are so respectful and such a great example of what you can become in this awesome country if you work hard no matter what background you come from.

Guy or girl who takes the bait: Ugh I can't believe you like the NFL! all the scandals of sexual misconduct and multiple felony players disrespecting our flag! disgusting. (at this point they will look around for validation but be greeted with confused looks and pity, because they made every single point you just did, but they didn't realize you were being sarcastic from the start!)

This last example works best in groups of 4 or more. Your body language will prime the pump for anybody familiar with sarcasm, which will be at least 50% of humans on any given day. Then your refusal to rebuttal the bait-taker while smiling and making eye contact will reaffirm that you were a solid 60 seconds ahead of the conversation at every point, and anybody with a brain will realize that you are the ultimate male. This will greatly confuse the bait taker at a minimum, because they were disconnected anyway. The dumber or less observant may never notice what happened, but you can be assured that you just gained points with everybody that mattered that's for sure!

In summary

I have personally witnessed all of these type of events. I have pulled the good ones off on purpose and successfully and came out ahead. If you are mostly an aware human being, you can keep your eyes peeled for opportunities when they arise, and pick up the free social capital and some practice when you get the chance. Just because we are stuck on this bitch of an earth doesn't mean we can't have some fun sometimes. Now stop looking at me like that, I didn't let that drop by accident. 

Happy new year!

Happy new year!

A 2018 New Years Resolution

A 2018 New Years Resolution

2017 - Good Across the Board

2017 - Good Across the Board